Here’s Why You Can’t Make a Decision

You don’t know what your guiding principle is.

As an over-thinker, I tend to get caught up in getting my hands on as much data as possible, and then trying to figure out an optimal decision or strategy for something I’m doing.

However I will often get stuck, or my mind will go in loops when it comes to making a decision, continuously revisiting and re-evaluating options.

When this happens, it’s almost always because I’m lacking a guiding principle for the decision. I’m trying to optimize for several goals or desires.

Once I’ve identified what the guiding principle is, everything will flow in place, and I will feel more peaceful and less regretful. Maybe I didn’t make the optimal decision, but if I didn’t violate my guiding principle, I typically feel less regret.

A guiding principle is typically something easy to understand and clearly matters more than the other desires you might have. Once stated, it sounds like the obvious thing to prioritize.

Now you may be thinking, isn’t a ‘guiding principle’ the same thing as a ‘top priority’? I prefer ‘guiding principle’ to ‘top priority’ because it’s more precise. It implies that it will guide your decisions, whereas a top priority may need to be balanced with a second and third priority to make an effective decision.

So how do you identify your guiding principle?

Establish Context

You can develop a guiding principle for anything you need to make decisions about. Whether that’s how to spend the rest of your evening, or choosing a place to live.

You just need to define that context first.

Understand Your Desires

What does a dream/ideal outcome look like?

Understand Your Constraints

Oftentimes, we will see blocks to our dream outcome that aren’t actually there. For those types of constraints, how can you get around them?

For the constraints that you really can’t get around, like time or a hard deadline, how can you embrace them? Consider that constraints are often essential to creative outcomes since they help focus your mind on the resources available to you.

A side note: if you don’t have a time constraint, it may be helpful to create an artificial one, just so you save yourself from overthinking.

Because at least for me, I tend to overthink things and delay decisions until they absolutely must be made. Which is a good move strategically for important decisions, because with more time comes the possibility of more or better information to guide my decision.

Yet oftentimes, I let this habit slip into less important decisions, which clutters my mind for much longer than is reasonable. For less important decisions, it’s better to make an earlier decision, accepting that it’s probably not optimal. That way, you have less weight on your mind and more room for the important stuff.

Minimize Regret and Risk

What outcome would cause you the most regret? Or framed another way, what would you regret NOT happening?

Also, is there some risk you want to avoid? How can you minimize that risk?

Conclusion

With so much data, so many voices, and even more choices, it’s harder than ever now to develop a guiding principle for a decision you’re trying to make.

Yet we all want we all want to live happy, fulfilling lives, which comes down to making good decisions.

Next time you find yourself unable to decide on something, try to develop a guiding principle.

Identify your ideal outcome, your (true) constraints, your least favorable outcome, and the thing you would regret not happening.

Once you’ve thought about these things, a guiding principle should become clear.

No matter the outcome, staying true to your guiding principle should leave you more equanimous in the long run.